Yes, ladies and gentlemen and every other thing out there, I'm back. It's not that important, I know, but I am. I'm alive and still... confused and indecisive and weird. And I'd rather drop the confused and indecisive part but weird is just fine by me.
Soooo what am I going to write for my MIA? Well, basically... to sum it up, I didn't feel like being social. I went back to an antisocial stage that was slightly different from my previous antisocial stage but still... boring.
I have decided thus, to start by writing about... what to do on Valentines' Day, as a single. I know it's overdue but what the heck.
1. Send a Valentines' gift to yourself, because really you're the single most important person to yourself. ( I'm serious. What would you be without you? )
2. Send a Valentines' gift to your family telling them how much you love them - it makes sense since they've probably done a lot more for you than the thousands of people that might have tried to chase you or something.
3. Huddle in an emo corner sighing about how pathetic you are, and cut yourself. Be warned, it might be painful.... with a razor blade anyway. But real emos use chainsaws, everyone knows that.
4. Send V Day stuff to your beloved friends!! Especially if you're rich and dunno how to spend billions of dollars on gifts, but then how come you're still single?
5. Play an MMORPG. Why, you might even find a virtual V Day date! After all, it's all virtual gold and stuff. And really there's no real consequences except for people who take it too seriously.
6. Sell gifts and chocolates and earn billions for next year's gifts. Being V Day, you can oversell by about 100% and you'll still get sales.
7. Jealously envy your friends and try to sabotage their dates. It can be amusing but only slightly better than emo mode. ( See #3)
8. Plan to take over the world using tried and tested schemes from renowned world conquerors. My personal references are Pinky and the Brain and Spongebob Squarepants.
9. Study in the library, or clear assignments. ( That's how I spent the entire V Day anyway.)
10. Go streaking! There's nothing better to ramp up the romantic atmosphere for couples than a naked guy or girl running around screaming or laughing or something in their favorite diner. Avoid nightclubs because it's not as much fun.. formal balls and restaurants are preferred.
11. Dress up as Cupid and practice archery on your favorite couples. Remember that a headshot scores the most, bodyshots aren't as damaging and don't give as much points, and between the legs is just...... low.
12. Intoxicate yourself! Every holiday is a good excuse for that anyway.
