The ends justify the means?

About dynamite) "As soon as men find that in one instant whole armies can be utterly destroyed, they surely will abide by golden peace."
— Alfred Nobel

(1833-1896) Swedish inventor - inventor of dynamite; left most of his fortune to establish Nobel Prizes; awards are granted every year in Stockholm, Sweden


"Dr. Alfred Nobel, who became rich by finding ways to kill more people faster than ever before, died yesterday."
- French Newspaper with a premature obituary- this was also apparently the line that made Alfred think he might need to find a better legacy to leave behind, and thus the Nobel Prize.


PS: We have nuclear weapons ( aka. nukes) now. One nuke = one city gone in the push of a red button. But the fighting still goes on... maybe we need better nukes. Or a nuke in the hands of every civilian.. hmm.
" Give me back my cookie!" * other kid sticks tongue out* " You're mean!!! I Hate you!!" * little kid presses button and nukes city*

PPS: Is it me or does the word " nuke" sound dirty when you use it a lot? As in it sounds like foul language. Like the f word, or the a word, or the b word, or the c, d, e.... uh, never mind.

His theory might have worked if not for insane people, the utterly stupid, the ability to hide everything from other countries or people, the prescence of entire countries and governments that close both eyes to what happens, and the fact that annihilating the entire country to stop the local army from killing the innocent is about as criminal as being apathetic about it, if not worse. A lot of theories don't work ( eg: Communism) because people aren't perfect, nor are they actually logical most of the time. Example - I have one day left to exams, and I'm blogging. Bravo. I wonder what they'll write on my obituary. " Person who didn't do anything with his life died yesterday. Maybe he's actually more useful fertilising the flowers."

If I survive this year...

I won't repeat the mistakes I've made through the year. HAH! As if I'll ever do that.... sigh. Nope, I'll probably repeat them as usual.

Is there ever a balance with doing the things you want to do, and doing things with other people that you want to hang out with, and then doing the things you're supposed to do? That balance is probably what everyone struggles with, but we make mistakes planning our own balance. And I think I've made a major mistake in doing so this year.. suffice to say, it's a little late to realise that. Being a person who, it seems, has ended up proving that he is, in fact, a loser ( in all sense of the word. I actually accept defeat a lot, rather than try to win because it takes more effort to try.. and I think I've lost a lot more because of that) ... I don't know what I really have left now.

Yes this is depressing. I am depressing, possibly a bit depressed for realising it. * sigh* I think I did work hard for a few things this year, but gave them up too easily. And mostly stupidly.

Maybe I should stop caring that this is happening, and accept the ultimate defeat.

You wish. Nope. Going to live on, screw myself up every day of existence, and possibly and hopefully get some moments where I don't hate myself entirely. Meanwhile, time to die for a good 2 weeks more.

Decisions and myself.

Yep, basically talking about these two.

Note: Basically a confession and a little bit of a sarcastic post. Read at your own risk.

Decisions are the bane of my life. Honestly, I can't decide on a lot of things. I want to do something and halfway I need to do something else. I always have at any one time about 10 things hanging that I wanted to do but never had the discipline to finish.. kind of like how I always like to slow down before the finish line in runs.. is it because I'm afraid of finishing things? Is there such a phobia? Well right now where it's landed me is in the middle of nowhere.. I'm not good at anything, I don't know anything that I should, am in a course I suddenly don't want to study, and in the middle of doing a lot of things I've yet to finish. And sometimes I've been lazy enough ( in fact, most of the time I have been) to let others make my decisions for me.. big mistake. No one know what I really want, and honestly, right now, neither do I.

Like right now. I should be studying. I should be actually picking up my notes and doing all the assignments and tests and going to the library to read up on things.. instead, I delay everything to the last minute and suddenly decide it's a good excuse to cut myself off from the world and say oh I'm busy. The hell with that, I made myself busy.. and for what? I could have just as easily done studying in my free time instead of WoWing, or random internet games and things, and right now I could be msning without any worry or guilt. Instead I thought maybe I should cut myself from the Internet and hope it works. Yeah right. I still can't sit down and study. I still can't go through my notes and actually be interested in finishing the entire sample paper.. in short, I'm dead. 5 days left.. 5 days. Or 4 now.. or was it 3?

Either way, it's late. I shouldn't be on if I actually plan to study tommorrow, and planning is really half the fun... getting myself to stick to it is the other half. And watching it fail badly while laughing madly is the other half ( making it 150% the fun. What joy.)

If I seriously fail this year, my apologies to my friends who supported me for the exams, and to my parents who have been pushing me hard to study AND paid for my exam fees, and to everyone who's ever been concerned about my results. And also to myself for doing a horrible job of living. ( No I'm not going to die just yet though. What, and you think I was going to spare the rest of the world from suffering my existence? HAH. Not so easy.)

Interesting..

I know, I shouldn't be wasting time doing anything else other than studying. But last night my friend linked me to these pics... I found it rather amusing. See for yourself.. uh, just don't get too queasy.

http://i0006.photobucket.com/albums/album_02832/

Newsflash.

It might take some time for all the details to be confirmed or revealed, but this report caught my eye today.

Nice hair, huh? That's not all that's weird about him.

Josef Fritzl, a 73-year-old Austrian man has confessed to holding his daughter Elisabeth captive in a dungeon for 24 years. While in captivity Fritzl repeatedly raped his daughter, fathering seven children with her, three of them were also held captive underground. Elisabeth, who is now 42-years-old, was forced into the dungeon when she was only 18, she has lived there for 24 years. Her daughter Kerstin, now 19, and sons Stefan, 18 and Felix, five, lived underground with her in the family's... ( source - http://www.zimbio.com/Josef+Fritzl)

That's his daughter when she was kidnapped by her own father. Pretty, isn't she? Apparently he thought so too. And decided he would keep her for himself, so in the true fashion of sick perverted people, he lured her to his basement ( which had been retrofitted with bathrooms, a bedroom, a kitchen - oh, and of course, handcuffs) , drugged her, and apparently sexually abused her, fathering up to 7 of her children. ( of which 2 died) If any of this turns out to be true.. well. I think we can agree this man deserves more than just an execution. ( being eaten alive by thousands of red ants aka. american indian torture comes to mind)

There's a lot of material on the net on it, but I found this one having a few videos and pictures about the case. http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/04/28/world/main4049102.shtml?source=mostpop_story Yahoo! Answers had a discussion about it as well.. they were asking why would he even be doing this? According to reports, he was already known to his children as a controlling father, domineering, but of course friendly to the neighbours. Anyway, if you're interested, here's the forum on the topic. http://sg.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080428091543AAZsf55. Among the entries there's a profiling on psychopaths... scary thing is, they're really good at hiding what they do, or what they think, or what they are, sometimes to the extent that they look overly friendly. This is why serial murderers, rapists, and the like can get away with committing horrific numbers of crimes before the police even put out an arrest warrant on them.

Not saying you should go slap every person that smiles at you for no reason, and then run away screaming while he/she doubles over from the kick you gave them in the kidneys so you can escape, but I just found the article interesting. What does this show? Basically I'm interested in reading everything except my notes. -.-

Well back to them.

Saltwater

Saltwater - By Julian Lennon ( Yes John's son, for those who know who John Lennon is)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWWKl1QJed0

We are a rock revolving
Around a golden sun,
We are a billion children rolled into one,
But when I hear about the hole in the sky,
saltwater wells in my eyes


We climb the highest mountains,
We make the desert bloom,
We're so ingenious that we walk on the moon,
But when I hear about the forests have died,
saltwater wells in my eyes

[ Chorus ]
I have lived for love,
But now that's not enough,
For the world I love is dying ( and now I'm crying)
Time is not a friend ( no friend of mine)
As friends we're out of time,
And it's slowly passing by...ayee...ayee...
Right before our eyes


We light the deepest oceans,
send photographs of Mars,
We're so enchanted by how clever we are..
Why should one baby be so hungry she cries?
Saltwater wells in my eyes

[ Chorus ]

We are a rock revolving.. around a golden sun
We are a billion children rolled into one,
What will I think of me, the day that I die?
Saltwater wells in my eyes...
( repeat the last line for a few times)



Psychedelic music, slow and talking about environmentalism. Yep, it's a Lennon alright. For those who don't know, John Lennon is one of the Beatles - in fact possibly the most famous one next to McCartney, or even more. He split from them at one time to write his own songs, mostly about peace, love, earth, all the hippy stuff. So why am I listening to this one? Answer: My old geog teacher played this once in class ( apparently to impress upon us the importance of geography? * shrugs* ) I'm not too fond of the teacher actually, but I like the song, mostly because I'm kind of a sentimental idiot at times. And god knows what on other times.

I was a lot more sentimental before I realise... songs like these used to make me cry. HAH. Yes, I'm a wimp. Maybe was, maybe am. Who knows? Not much things make me cry anymore. I don't know if that's good or bad. Maybe both as well. Maybe my results will make me cry... or not. Only time will tell, eh? Either way, slow sappy song. Listen to at your own risk.

Today

I finally got off the armchair for something other than sitting down in another chair for lectures. Yep... I went to City Hall! Honestly I wasn't supposed to... I left maybe a little too early before something else could be confirmed, so yeah, I ended up there instead. So I decided I might as well explore the area. Looking at the Padang construction ( they're building something up again, possibly the NDP stand?) I miss the old days... yes, I'm talking about NS.

The time when we built up the NDP stand itself was fun. Lots of sweat and work ( although honestly we slacked a lot, mostly complaining about how we were being discriminated by the officers, but I think the other people thought the same thing =P ) but we had this 8 to 5 shift, after which we could return home. Kind of like being bangla workers, but with better pay, and less work . And funnier people.. I ran here and there with this other bunkmate of mine carrying stuff, and some people were showing off... just for the fun of it we'd shout " CHIONG ARRR!!" and grab some planks and stuff and run with it. ( I know that violates workplace safety but we don't really care that much)

I remember during construction the metal beam supporting the stand itself got propped on my boots.. I didn't even tell anyone until about a minute later, and my sergeant scolded me for it. " Eh if the beam on your foot say something lah!! Damn dangerous leh!" But it was pretty fun being a bangla worker otherwise.. we ate at the roadside, kua chio bu walking by ( and people who cmi) and got to sit in the lorry while transporting goods. Sooooo shiok to feel the wind in your face siah! We ate at this bridge, and the Falun Gong people were there too.. along with some weirdos. One guy came along talking to us as if he knew us, but he wasn't in our company, battalion, or any part of the camp. But he helped out anyway...funny.

And then our Platoon Sergeant treat us tau hui zhui =D Those were the times man... nothing to worry about, work, go home, and slackkkk.

Right now that's all I can talk about. Ciaoz~

Fallen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=en2A2iqYRWg

FALLEN by Lauren Wood

[ Chorus ] ( I think)
I can't believe it
You're a dream coming true
I can't believe how I have fallen for you

And I was not lookin , was content to remain
And its ironic to be back in the game

You're the one
Whose led me to the sun
HOw could i know
and I was lost without you

And I wanna tell u You control my brain
And you should know
that you're life in my faith


You're the one
Whose led me to the sun
How could I know
And i was lost without you

[ Repeat Chorus]

And I was not lookin , was content to remain
And its ironic to be back in the game

( cue jazz music in the background - don't kill me if I got the music type wrong)




Another random song I heard before but never bothered to find. It's so much easier to find stuff on the Internet nowadays.

On a side note, I realised that most of the people ( if not all) have been fighting their own battles, and been much stronger than I have. I've been far too lazy to fight what I need to, usually running off like a little coward. Maybe I should try... but I don't know what I really want to do. I still don't, and I might be disappointing everyone that's been supporting me all this while. I'll think about it, as always. I'm always thinking about something these days.

Oh, and to those who have been studying, working, or trying to get over things, JIA YOUU!!!! ALL THE BEST!!!! It will get better!! ( because with any luck I'll be sponging up the bad luck. Oh wait, does that make sense? ) Well it will anyway, if it can't get any worse =D

If that didn't help.... you never saw this entry. You did not read this line that told you that you did not read it, and you did not read the text that you just saw, because it never happened. * flashes MIB light*

Random Psychobabbling

Just found some really interesting pictures on the net ( because I can't just sit down and study.. gah)


This is why kids need supervision in playgrounds.

Well, at least we know he filled up the tank.



Can imagine if this guy has an urgent need to head to the toilet...



Some joker's idea of a toilet sign



Even fully armored riot police need love too.


An interesting fortune cookie message.. so what did you just eat?


A really cool bus design ad




Well yep, that's all I have for this time. Enjoy!

AND FINALLY MY SWEENEY TODD POST

YESSS!!! AFTER AGES OF PROCRASTINATION... I'M GOING TO WRITE MY SWEENEY TODD POST!!! Yes, by this time, the hoo-hah over the movie is over. But it's still an awesome movie. So. Here's the lowdown on it.

Main cast-

Tim Burton

Role : Director

Every director has his own style. John Woo is the action master ( bombs, kung fu, whatever) and Jerry Bruckheimer is a bomber ( let's blow this up which makes that one blow up so we can blow up the whole set) and this guy? The goth. And his movies have his own brand of dark humour, and I love that about his work. Let's see.. if you guys want to know what he did, here's a few - Nightmare Before Christmas, Edward Scissorhands, Sleepy Hollow, Batman Returns, and Corpse Bride. ( Ok the last one wasn't that great, but still.)

Johnny Depp

Role : Sweeney Todd

And what's a director without his lead actor? You guys know him better as Captain- Jack- Sparrow. I know him as Johnny Depp because this guy is coolness. The way he does any role at all is amazing, well at least I like the way he plays people with a screw or two or a whole bucketload loose. In this movie he's lost it almost completely. He can sing pretty well, and he certainly carries off the psycho barber who thinks we all deserve to die very nicely. ( Well maybe he does have a few screws loose in real life. But he's still awesome)

Helena Bonham Carter/ Burton

Role : Mrs Lovett

And of course there's a female lead. In this case, it also happens to be Mr Burton's wife ( they met on the set of Planet of the Apes, which he helmed. Apparently she made a lovely monkey) and - for those who watched Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - she was also Bellatrix , the evil sorceress and one of Volde's lieutanents. She apparently didn't change her hairstyle from that movie. Which fits in, because here she's slightly less deranged - she plays a meat pie seller who sells the corpse meat from Sweeney's " customers" baked in her pies, but she also has a softer side with a boy, and is obsessed with Mr Todd in a cute little way. ( although he basically ignores her and it doesn't end up very good ) She sings too but I was noticing her hair more.

Alan Rickman

Role : Judge Turpin

This film is all about revenge - aka. bao chou in all those chinese period dramas . So we need someone for Mr Todd to go psycho on, and voila here we have, filling in that role, none other than Severus Snape himself! ( from Harry Potter too... hm. 2 actors from there so far...I wonder..) From his looks I'd say perhaps he does fit the role. Alan looks like a theatrical actor and basically, his face has this narrow serious look to it that says either librarian, sinister teacher or bad guy. Or tax collector. In this case he plays that mean judge who ruins Todd's life and makes him go wacko in the first place.

Timothy Spall

Role : Beadle ( Turpin's right hand.. or was it his left?)

Yes, that's him, the fat, squashed man in the middle with that wide black hat. In the movie he plays a brutal sidekick, a bootlicker to the mean Turpin who wallops anyone in their way. He also played Wormtongue in the Harry Potter movies - that makes 3 of the main acting cast from Harry Potter! What, did Voldemort have an interest in this musical too? Ralph Fiennes ( who plays Volde in the Harry Potter movies) might have made a nicer Turpin ( he has a very nice sneer) .. hm. But no, the Potter actor would have to fill in the boy role and I'm not sure he'd fit in. Anyway, about this man... actually I don't know anything about him. So there. = P

Jayne Wisener

Role : Johanna Barker

This newcomer songbird plays the role of Johanna, Todd's as-yet uncorrupted, sweet, innocent daughter who is raised by the Judge. She sings only one song in the whole movie, and she and this other guy create a kind of subplot of innocent romance, hampered by the terrible winds of revenge and hate that the movie focuses on. Dramatics aside, she's a lovely soprano ( not just the face I mean, she can sing pretty well) but it's a pity she's kind of a side role here. Not bad for a first role though.

Laura Michelle Kelly

Role : Lucy Barker ( Todd's wife)

Well well... honestly, I wasn't sure what she did, but I knew she was famous for some reason. I wikied her and guess what? She played Mary Poppins! And a lot of other stage productions , including the Lord of the Rings ( on theatre stage ) as Galadriel... but on screen, she isn't as popular, apparently. In this movie she plays the wife of Todd who's basically the reason the Judge jailed Todd in the first place. Not a big role as it appears, but important.

Sasha Baron Cohen

Role : Adolfo Pirelli, a barber who contests Todd

I half expected him to take out his sister and say " This is my sister. She is 5th best prostitute in all of London. Nice!" Which is a line from Borat the movie... because yes, he's the actor for Borat. It might be a really offensive movie but hey, I liked it =P . Just have to take these things with a pinch of salt... and possibly sugar, and soya sauce, and if you're really sensitive, maybe arsenic. But anyway, he doesn't play a crazy Kazakh with huge racial slurs here, but his character is not much less outrageous - an Italian barber who's also a fraud miracle elixir seller. And he's still very funny . " IT WASA THE POPE!!"

The plot... well, the plot is all about revenge. Todd gets jailed because bad judge wants his wife and gets her. Todd comes back, angry, jaded and hungry for vengeance and goes on a killing spree, while his friendly pie maker Mrs Lovett makes meat pies from his killing sprees. ( next time you order shepherd's pie, you might want to check if it's real shepherd) The rest, you'll have to see. In fact, you can search for the soundtracks on youtube... but honestly, you'll have to see the movie to appreciate it. But anyway for the curious, here's the links to the songs on youtube -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FLeKvZdNs8 ( No Place like London)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hT7n718iJzI ( Worst Pies in London)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8nzD_yEPfM ( Poor Thing)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmUBwQybFKo ( My Friends)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tox_UDjLRCc ( Green Finch and Linnet Bird)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmzTMRTB_G4 ( Johanna)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0eTUihny-OA ( Pirelli's Miracle Elixir- along with that crazy barber with really bad hair. Honestly, you'd think he would get a better hairstyle)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87EPt_AwkWU ( The Contest)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TClqRoJfgmo ( Wait)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOBwH2Or-A8 ( Pretty Women)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rI1muWt0vho ( Epiphany) My favourite one of the lot.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGzpzJ4fzGY ( A Little Priest)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uyDbGgD-9E ( Johanna- sung this time by both Depp and the young actor for another set of scenes)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjl09GT2UcM ( By the Sea - now this you really have to see the movie scenes with it)

And the other songs I'm not as fond of. But feel free to check for them on youtube.

Well, that's all I really can say without showing up the whole movie. ( although I've shown half of it already I think) That's all for now .

Another song hahahaha

Yeah this is lame isn't it? All I can post on this place is... another song. Haha. Well I get addicted to one song after another. Soooo... what about my life? Well, actually not much to say. Let's see....
finished assignment. WoW... sleep. Eat. WoW. Slack until I need to study again... which... will be.... now. -.- I honestly should get a hobby somewhere. Oh well. Here's that song I was listening to for the past week or so.

BURN by Jo Dee Messina

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbIgTFyY0Yc

Do you wanna be a poet and write
Do you wanna be an actor up in lights
Do you wanna be a soldier
and fight for love

Do you wanna travel the world
Do you wanna be a diver for pearls
Or climb a mountain
and touch the clouds above

Be anyone you want to be
Bring to life your fantasies
But I want something in return

[ Chorus ]
I want you to burn....burn for me baby
Like a candle in my night
Oh burn .....Burn for me.....Burn for meeeeeee

Are you gonna be a gambler and deal
Are you gonna be a doctor and heal
Or go to heaven and touch God's face

Are you gonna be a dreamer who sleeps
Are you gonna be a sinner who weeps
Or an angel
Under grace

I'll lay down on your bed of coals
Offer up my heart and soul
But in return


[ Chorus ]

[ Bridge ]
Yeah Ooh I want you to burn baby ....ooh
Laugh for me, Cry for me
Pray for me, Lie for me
Live for me...Die for uss..

[ Chorus ]

Yeah Ah yeah I want you to burn I want you to burn for me baby
Ohh yeah




Annndd there we go. Another song to fill up the space on my blog. It's a song that I've heard for ages but never really known how to sing. Now I do... doesn't mean I can sing it well, but like I care. Muaahhahahahahaahahaa....

Bizare Love Triangle

Bizarre Love Triangle - by Frente

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJ1c9ErCn7w

Every time I think of you
I get a shot right through into a bolt of blue
Its no problem of mine
but its a problem I find
Living a life that I cant leave behind

Theres no sense in telling me
The wisdom of a fool wont set you free
But thats the way that it goes
And its what nobody knows
And every day my confusion grows

[ CHORUS ]
Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for that final moment
You'll say the words that I cant say

I feel fine and I feel good
I feel like I never should
Whenever I get this way, I just dont know what to say
Why cant we be ourselves like we were yesterday

Im not sure what this could mean
I dont think youre what you seem
I do admit to myself that if I hurt someone else
Then we'd never see just what were meant to be

[ CHORUS ]


( Yes, I know the video sucks. So sue me, they wanted a quiet vid)
Quiet little song. It just reminds me of someone.. I remember a few people through some songs. I associate a few things with songs, mostly what I was doing or who I was talking to, or who taught me the song. For example.. that "Mama" song by the Spice Girls? It reminds me of this X-Files book I was reading when I heard it... where this ghost kid was trying to kill his mother.

Anyway. It's pretty much just a quiet little song. Nothing really special, just for the confused in love and all that jazz. And also really simple to sing so I can memorise it =P

月牙湾>> F.I.R.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyvi9bCDNpo

(youtube embed doesnt work.. sucks sia)

月牙湾>> F.I.R.

敦煌古墓的沙粒 带着我们的际遇

我从半路看回去 这秦关漫漫好蜿踞

梦想穿过了西域 包含了多少的缠意

爱情像一本游记 我会找寻它的密语

看..月牙湾下的泪光

在丝路之上被遗忘

[ CHORUS ]
是谁的心啊, 孤单的留下

他还好吗, 我多想爱他

那永恒的泪 , 那一句话

也许可能蒸发,

是谁的爱啊, 又为谁降下

轻声呼唤, 就让我融化

那一滴雨水演化成我翅膀

向着我爱的人追吧

梦想穿过了西域 包含了多少的缠意

爱情像一本游记 我会找寻它的密语

看..月牙湾下的泪光

在丝路之上被遗忘

[ chorus ] x2

Inside my mind right now

- Yeah that's pretty much it. Blank.. I suppose it's really not a good idea to be as serious about a game like that, especially since I'm not so much a pro at it as supposedly a leisure player. Social dynamics in a game can get pretty dangerous, especially since I'm kind of an escapist.. and I have my history of being stuck on games. Red Alert, Warcraft 3, Generals.. and now WoW. Only this time it also has people to talk with, and you forget the time even more.. I really have to remember that I do not strive to be one of those people who die in front of the computer with their eyeballs on the screen. No... there are far more useful ways to die. And it would achieve nothing that I want.

Well leave you guys with this. I'm still having a blank parchment inside my head... so until I think of something more interesting, adios.

Welll now my results are back!!

Anndddd none too good I'm afraid. Let's see. Passed all exam papers BUT failed one coursework. Which, of course, happens to be the one I hate the most. E-Business.... ERK! ACK! BLARGH! ( rolling on the floor dying ) ROFD!!

Well, I guess it serves me right. I attend lessons on a whim, and I do things mostly on a whim. To be honest, I seem to randomly make friends. Some people I just want to make friends with, talk to, even before I might have started talking to them. Others I just don't seem to want to be close to. Take, for example, my family. I've come back from a family trip with my overseas cousins coming over to join us and I must say it's been an absolutely wonderfully useless trip. To me, that is. It simply proves that I can barely relate to or talk to them. I was preferring to draw on my pad, and sustaining even a small conversation with them is just that. Small talk. Lasts for a minute or so, and doesn't scratch anything. Hello, how are you, nice to see you again, bye bye. Especially so for aunties, uncles, grandparents.. I find I might be getting a little cold on them, if I wasn't already. I think it's just the way I am.. nothing to blame on my parents. They have tried, I can say. But I don't find a point trying when I'm not interested..

Oh, to the people who know who I'm talking about. IVAN'S COMING BACK ON THE 20TH NOVEMBER!!! 2135 hours ( 9.35 pm for the non-military peeps) ON AN SIA FLIGHT!!!
COME ON DOWN GUYS!!! ( again for the people who know who I'm talking about)

Life. You win some, you lose some, and you don't know if you're winning or losing overall. Heckuva mess.

Back to school

Sorry for being so MIA these few days. Like everyone knows, I'm pretty much stuck on WoW. Heh. Will be like this for much longer I guess... need to get somethings done there before I can slack off.

I'm supposed to be having lessons now, but as a screw up, I'm still at home. As usual, being the idiot I am, I read the schedule wrongly and voila- I figured I was having afternoon lessons. So wrong.. now I have one hour left of lessons. I think I'll just grab the notes and run. Doesn't really matter anyway.. even if I am there, it seems as if the whole lecture group doesn't care I exist. Maybe I've been too casual with my attendance last sem? Or its the drawing that freaks them out? They think I'm a freak, always drawing something in class, or that's what I've heard. But I don't personally care much. Being a loner in lecture groups is not too bad.. at least you have no pressure to attend lessons, other than from your parents. And those you can fake >:) .

I guess I should be going now. Bye.

WARNING : HARRY POTTER SPOILER

Hey guys i decided to be an idiot and spoil the plot of the Harry Potter movie, the Order of the Phoenix- for those who haven't watched or read the book. Here's how it goes..

The movie opens with Harry being attacked by orcs. Apparently the Horde have been growing restless and decided to attack the human alliance without warning. Harry learns that they have a weapon of great power, a wand to rule them all. To destroy it, they must take it to a far away mountain and cast it into the fire. The Order of the Phoenix is thus set up, to protect Harry while he defeats this threat! However, the school has a new teacher who tries to step in their way( like in all other Harry Potter movies/ books) and they need an army to stall the evil Voldemort, who in the last movie has surfaced. They thus recruit the bravest 300 students from Hogswarts, who proceed to don skimpy cloaks and head armor and face the 100,000 army that he-who-has-already-been-named has recruited. So begins the war!

Meanwhile, what is Voldemort doing ? ( other than trying to take over the world as usual) He fiddles with a cube that cannot be solved,a mysterious almighty puzzle that the Muggles have called the Rubik's Cube. ( remember that the mightiest of wizards tend to have little logic, as mentioned in Harry Potter 1 ) He roars with frustration and decides to mobilise his army, attacking the school on all fronts. A mighty battle ensues, and while it occurs, a black guy suddenly says he has the solution to the cube. He calls it " happyness" . With his uncanny method, he unfolds the puzzle, and it morphs into a larger cube. Suddenly meteors crash-land all over, and change into giant robots, who then change into vehicles! The cube is the Allspark, the item that these robots have searched for, and will be a powerful weapon as well! So as the two sides race to use /destroy their respective all-powerful weapons, the robots attack each other with swords and laser cannons and missiles and stuff. Andd...

The story is yet to be concluded, but there is a climatic battle scene at the end. Wonder where it leads? Find out in the next installment of Harry Potter!!

random words: you try so much but in the end you only love yourself

More on the weekend~

Not finished yet, guys. I actually wanted to make it a full entry on the saturday, but I decided I had to stop right there, cos.. I wanted to leave PvP as its own entry. Yeah.. just that.

Anw, what happened after that?

Oh yes, Seoul Garden!! I met up with Jingyang, Shawn, Colin and gang, and we ate the steamboat at Taka. Looooveee the teriyaki chicken man... and also of course credit goes to professional cook Jingyang. Yang ge can cook, so can you! Taught us some good recipes on fried rice.. but then again, we need the whole oiled pan thing to work. Hm...

After we finished the dinner, it wasn't over for my saturday! Oh nope.. was forced to watch Harry Potter with my family. Quite shagged by then, but still no choice.. haiz.. so the movie was quite interesting in general. I can't reveal the plot but it was quite good, compared to the other Harry Potter movies I saw ( was forced to as well) . Especially that sadistic fairy of a minister.. the woman in pink. Freakishly sadistic but always mimicking some kind of super act cute fairy with her full pink regalia, 24/7 smile, and silly laugh. If there's one thing you can say about the Harry Potter movies, it's that they really know how to make you hate characters. She reminds me of.. hm. MISS LIM!! Some of you will probably know which one I'm talking about. Make up so many rules, strict punishment, etc. Not to mention ambitious and CMI face. When she acts cute, you don't feel like finishing your coke anymore. You feel like doing something drastic with that face, like stuffing pencils in her nose or something. Or maybe she can drink the coke through her nostrils. Oh, but the final fight scene against Voldemort was SO much cooler than before!! Finally wand combat shows promise!!

Hm.. can't really reveal much about the film though, so this is all. Of course we went home after that ( was about 2am by the time it finished ).. hm. Basically, it's a must-see if you're a Harry Potter fan, and if you have been forced to see the other movies in the series, like me, don't worry, this one is actually better than the rest.

A weekend to remember~

Hi guys, sorry for the late update.. not sure what to really write about anymore. Getting a little confused about everything lately.

This past weekend has been an interesting one. Mostly, Saturday.

FAIRFIELD PVP!!!

Yep that's right. Past vs Present!! A long-awaited yearly event whereby the alumni ( aka. old guys, aka. US) will compete against the new batches of students as well as among ourselves in various matches of captain's ball, soccer and .. I think that's it. Din check out the floorball but from my knowledge it was basically canceled. Not too sure. But of course, it's not just about playing there. It's about visiting my old school, to relive the memories ( no matter how dusty or painful they might be - ah scrap painful. Dusty is more like it) , to talk to old friends and make new ones, especially with the people you used to think were ah lians or ah bengs or whatever reason you had to ignore them in the first place.

OK enough about the generic titles. What actually happened? From my perspective, hm, it wasn't too bad. We got to see the class people who left for overseas study, and OMG WE SAW THE 2 MARKS AGAIN!!!! It's been Primary 6 since I last saw them man!! AND YI LUN!!! It seems like a 6F reunion all over again! Especially Yi Lun, who kind of disappeared when I heard he transferred to another school .. I never thought I would even hear from him again, much less see him! Mark Tang has changed quite a bit.. the rest don't really seem to have changed. Actually Mark has changed quite a lot I think.. regarding his <> appearance. Other than that, he seems a bit more worldly wise, and he's actually attached to one of our own. That's a fact I'm probably the last to know of. Assssss usual haha.. but I'm kind of taken aback at seeing them again! Oh mannnn.. must make effort to talk to the 6F people again. I still love 4C a lot, but 6F is also cool. I remember it mostly as a spam of drawing games... wheel of fortune, paper red alert, etc etc. And of course the people who played them with me... Ivan, Kerry, Yi Lun, Joseph, etc etc. Not very fair to put etc etc, but heck, I have a bad memory. =P

OK down to PvP itself. Game as usual ended with... we lost lah. The new batch so fit, we lao liao, slower and less agile than them. BUT we managed to trash the current soccer team in one match!! GOOD JOB GUYS!!! WAY TO PWNAGE!!! =D I din really manage to get in any of the teams except as a short time as reserve player in captain's ball. Instead end up as lala dui.. cheer for our team players. Pris as usual is super ento haha.. no wonder end up as Miss Fairfield PvP siahhhhh.... even get to wear the sash lor! ( Ok lah that was 2 tell the different teams in capt ball but nvm ) Captain's Ball was alright.. we had some tense moments when they felt the ref was being unfair, but the last match was fun though we lost. Soccer was good. Mark T and his ballistic missile owned one of our matches man!! If any goal was to be highlighted it would be his. Absolutely beautiful.. and at an angle that the keeper had no chance at all. He was, technically, at the wrong side, but still, perfect shot . WAY TO GO! The match itself was a bit marred by the other team, cos some of them wanted to fight after that. Over a match?? Please lor, its not even outside competition. Take it too seriously liao..but overall, still a good game, and our players can't be blamed for not trying. Congrats on a good performance guys!! Especially considering we nua so long liao.. hahaha..

But also I took the opportunity to talk with the people there lah. Some people I dun ever remember even talking to before, I just struck up a conversation, and voila, suddenly we know each other. Catch up with Mark and gang, and some friends from the other classes, and of course VJ Monique hahaha.. she din get VJ post today though, I think. Overall it was a fun day, catching up with everyone, talking to the people there..but so much has changed. Our school is now so different.. so many rules.. we saw a few familiar teachers, but most of them have gone away. Mrs Koh aka Murder Koh, who made me love Lit, had already retired.. times have changed siah. New staff, new people, new faces, new building,..... new rules. It looks so much like a jail now.. hai... but it still will be the place I used to live in. ( Yes literally.. BB camps were held there as well) I don't have any photos, otherwise I'll post them liao. Later perhaps? If I manage to get them from some of the others.

Senseless

We watch the moon
Two of us
Eyes ahead
We think

The crowd bustles below.
They whistle, they call out, they wink and they cheer my name,
they tell you, you are great, you are amazing,
you are happy,
but I am not.
I shake my head.
No I am not.

I turn to the other,
but there is no other.
I see blank.
Words fail to run from the river of ice,
from the open gap,
people fade into shadows,
ghosts of past glories , vampires of existence.

This is madness, I say.
There are people out there.
These are people, not monsters,
not leeches,
not creatures hanging on because they need your life.

Or are they?
I turn back, among the calls,
among the breathing,
among the words and minds of infinity,
I turn and see with new eyes,
what this is.
Grey.
Bleak.
Shadow.
Pain.
Unclear.
Madness.

I turn to the other, and see why
there is none.
The other has been nothing
nothing
no one
but me.

This is madness.
Madness.
Mad.

THIS

IS

SPARRRTAAAAAA!!!!!!!!


And all this has been crap. Thank you, everyone.