Anddd welcome to your very first DIY chain mail! As requested by.. ME! Hahaha..
Step 1. Origin
(a) Bored dudes in a room. " Man I'm bored. What's there to do around here?" " HeyyyYYY I know! Let's write a chain mail!" " AweSOME!!"
(b) Mad scientist sits in his lab experimenting with his new computer. " MUAHAHAHA I SHALL CONCOCT THIS CHAIN MAIL AND UNLEASH IT UPON THE WORLD!"
(c) Bimbos sitting around and chatting. " Hey , like, I hate this new girl!" "Yeah, she's , like, sooOooOo stuck Up!" " Totally!" " Hey, I have an idea! Let's , like, you know, write a chain mail! I heard she's , like, soooOoOo gullible for that!" " ooOoOoOOoOOoO!!!"
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(d) Killers, Kidnappers N Badass Council of Chainmail Builders ( KNNBCCB) meeting - " Now we shall present our next project..." " OMG! My Spongebob Squarepants is on now! I better go cya later guys- "
(e) Bored little geek at home . " Viruses, check. Screwed the Internal Security Department , check. Hacked every website and account there is to hack, check..
(f) Any suggestions? Like perhaps just a normal person feeling bored and sends chain mail for the fun of it.
Step 2. Story
(a) Gorgeous Nigerian princess/ Handsome Nigerian prince needs your help in accessing an overseas account if you will just give them money..oh wait, that's not it...
(b) Message about love, like.." Love is a many flavoured thing" or " Love is more than just words.." yadayadayada
(c) Message about life.." Life is a race, but do not forget...."
(d) Murderous person/ghost is seeking blood.. has just slaughtered a family and is on the loose. Not relevant that it is about a few thousand miles away.
(e) Touching story.. about hospital patient,who died or is dying, and writes a poem, or story, to express their message.
(f) Mother needs cash to help support her sick child for an operation and has struck a deal with Microsoft in exchange for her soul.
(g) Someone really filthy rich is bored and wants you to spread this message .
(h) The email service provider has decided that you need to confirm your account by spreading the word.
(i) Evangelism.
(j) A really bored virus maker has made a virus-laden email and you just got it.
(k) The Duchess of Yorke has decided to have a tea party and you are invited.
Step 3. Forward to...?
(a) As many as you want.. Just Do It (tm) NIKE
(b) Your friends and family
(c)1-7+ people
(d) 10+ people
(e) Varying amount - 1-5, 5-10, 10-15, etc.. the more people the more the reward
(f) 20+ people
(g) 100+ people
(h) 100,000,000+ people
(i) people you don't like
(j) your beloved, or secret crush
Step 4. If you do?
(a) tommorow/ next week/ next month/ next year/ sooner or later your true love will find you and confess their love for you
(b) you'll get a lot of cash
(c) you're safe
(d) luck will follow you in whatever you do
(e) you are a good person
(f) you will be saved from damnation
(g) you will save another person's life
(h) you will have lots and lots of friends
(i) the KNNBCCB will be very pleased
(j) You can have tea with the Duchess of Yorke!
(k) nothing happens
Step 5. If you don't?
(a) you're going to hell
(b) you will be haunted by a certain murderous person or ghost who doesn't seem to mind coming from thousands of miles away to terrorise you because you did not forward his/her email.
(c) you are a very bad and insensitive person
(d) your love life will go to pieces and you will die alone
(e) tommorrow/ the day after that/ the next week/ sooner or later you will die a horrible death involving lots of pain and snails
(f) you will lose all your friends and good fortune
(g) Mt Krakatoa will erupt because of you
(h) you will have caused someone to die
(i) people everywhere will choke on their pretzels
(j) your account will be revoked
(k) the virus will go straight into your com and forward itself anyway
(l) nothing happens
Well thats all I can think of regarding this.. to be fair, some are actually motivating rather than annoying, especially when they don't threaten anything, but spread a good message and all. But when they threaten to wreck your life for no reason it's pretty bad. And there are also legit chain mails... like the protest against child abuse.. Light a Million Candles, was it? Something like that.
This was not meant to abuse any other parties other than the sad cases who create chain mails.. do not take offence if you aren't them. All rights reserved. Any similarities of characters and stories in the text is purely coincidental.. well, kind of.
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