I won't repeat the mistakes I've made through the year. HAH! As if I'll ever do that.... sigh. Nope, I'll probably repeat them as usual.
Is there ever a balance with doing the things you want to do, and doing things with other people that you want to hang out with, and then doing the things you're supposed to do? That balance is probably what everyone struggles with, but we make mistakes planning our own balance. And I think I've made a major mistake in doing so this year.. suffice to say, it's a little late to realise that. Being a person who, it seems, has ended up proving that he is, in fact, a loser ( in all sense of the word. I actually accept defeat a lot, rather than try to win because it takes more effort to try.. and I think I've lost a lot more because of that) ... I don't know what I really have left now.
Yes this is depressing. I am depressing, possibly a bit depressed for realising it. * sigh* I think I did work hard for a few things this year, but gave them up too easily. And mostly stupidly.
Maybe I should stop caring that this is happening, and accept the ultimate defeat.
You wish. Nope. Going to live on, screw myself up every day of existence, and possibly and hopefully get some moments where I don't hate myself entirely. Meanwhile, time to die for a good 2 weeks more.
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