Mention the word.. what do you think of?
Flowers? Roses? Diamonds, chocolates and sweet poetry? Perhaps your boyfriend, or girlfriend, or crush. Or that dream prince you've been waiting for. Kisses, holding hands, bringing them the moon and all that jazz.
Ah, screw that.
All that notion is only romance- a portion of romantic love, the usual BGR ( boy-girl relationship) you see on TV. Guy meets girl, girl and guy fall head over heels in love and elope. This involves a lot of gifts, deeds, and also a mutual attraction ( Well, sometime's there's guy and guy or girl and girl in this aspect, but that's not the point) . And the gimmick of gift shops - ah yes, buy a flower, ring, chocolate for your lover? And when we speak of love, that is the first thing that comes to mind, isn't it?
But that's not all love is.
Love has many kinds.. and we all need it. No? Then let's begin with something to silence those who believe there is no such thing as love... we begin with it. Parents- ah yes, parents. Proud, arrogant, old and irritating - many of us view them as that. And yet, these same people who we could be mistreating and ignoring since childhood , could very well jump into a blazing inferno like those firemen in movies, or action heroes, just to save us- only that they may not return alive. A less dramatic example - they work day and night, and leave us alone a lot, but whom for? To earn so much money, and for whom? People like to think of love as a knight in shining armour, or a lover with a rose, but what of the parent who sacrifices his entire lifespan slaving at the office, just to feed his children? There are those who would go even further, and sacrifice the one thing that even heroes have at their death- their dignity. Prostitutes who would do so if only to support their children, and when these kids grow up, they would use this money to escape the life their mothers had, to earn a job, and then abhor the scandalous trade, maybe even the mother who is doing it. In economical terms, it is a very risky venture, where you have no guarantee of ever having any returns... but love never was about returns, yes?
And then ... there is love between friends. This is the common kind of love between similar genders ( without homosexuality, of course ) . And one point to note- unlike romance, this kind of love has even less conditions to bind either side. Meaning to say, friendship doesn't have to mean you must be always with that person, can only go out with that person, cannot do this, cannot do that, must look like this, blah blah blah. More freedom to each side, yet sometimes, the bond is just as strong, and lasting, as romance itself, if not more so- and it can also be much much weaker. But still, it is a bond that no one can do without- not unless you plan to live as a hermit on the mountainside. Of course, it is quite odd to consider telling your friend " I love you!" ( again because of our narrow perspective of it all) but .. well, that's what it is.
And finally, romantic love.. yes yes, whatever. Seeing as how it is being broadcasted everywhere , it only needs a short mention here.. but it is, unlike what some stupid idiot in the Ch8 9pm series currently on ( about some Zodiac .. forget it, I dun follow the plot) , love , "true" love as you call it, is not all about being possessive- what's yours is mine, what's mine is also mine, etc. Heck, forget that "yours is mine , mine is yours" stuff. Define the properties of your relationship however you will.. love was never about that. So what exactly is it? Care, concern, respect, attraction, and the rest is all up to you.
And so what has happened to it?
2 problems that have come about.. frst and foremost, resistance. Not only bitterness, anger, nonchalance towards this ideal.. there is also our pride. Yes, we do need our pride, our "face", as us Chinese call it, but in some instances it becomes a huge stumbling block. Like a father who would not help his daughter when she does something "dishonourable"... even if it stabs through his heart like a knife. Like a friend who, after an argument with another, will not lift a hand to help when it is needed, just because he cannot stand down. Pride can be stubborn, and we live to regret much of it when we think back.. parents have this as a brick wall between them and their children, and it eventually drives them apart.. but most of the time, it is only a farce, and even as they watch the children they disowned walk away, they cannot show the true extent of their pain. And it is also a problem with guys, with this stupid need to "look cool", to be an emotional rock, but we just aren't...
And the other big problem- corruption. Love becomes twisted, altered to fit the mindset. When, fo example, someone actually buys that " Love is possessive" crap, he/she will begin to think that their lover should have no freedom whatsoever, and eventually, this makes the other into an object rather than a person- a property. It also can be twisted when one loves an ideal, a concept, and nothing concrete - money, or power. And thus is spawned the real evil geniuses of this world, thus is spawned politics. Love, when possessive, becomes an addiction, and creates stalkers, madmen, killers, and the list goes on. In other words, when love goes awry... we have psychopathy.
Such is the range of love.. it is not as defined and mass-marketed by the companies, that it needs diamonds, roses, chocolates or even gifts.. simple companionship will do. It is our inherent need, a part of our psyche, the essence of our being.. and it never is, or was, only about couples, about poetry or gifts or sweet nothings ...
Happy Valentine's Day.